Twitter: For the “Anti-Socially Social”
Is Twitter anti-social? Twitter, the SMS-enabled social networking service, has become increasingly popular over the past year. This was quite apparent at the SxSW Interactive Conference in
Then one night at dinner with @ericaogrady (Erica O’Grady), @tamar (Tamar Weinberg), @trevinorama (Marla Trevino) @antifreeze (Seth Blank), @davidlyman (David Lyman) I barely noticed the silence at the table as we all sat typing “tweets” into our phones. In fact, @ericaogrady and I (half jokingly) spent much of the dinner communicating to each other over Twitter even though we were sitting directly across the table. No doubt, this was unusual, and perhaps some might call it anti-social. But I would like to propose a new term to describe Twitter users:
While, I am the first to admit that you should probably limit your phone use when in the presence of other people, I can’t sit back and let people say that Twitter is for the anti-social. So next time, someone complains that you are being anti-social for sending too many tweets, remember to tell them “Dude, I am not anti-social…I am anti-socially social.”
Yours Truly,
Ah yes, Twittering while out to eat with friends. No doubt there was no problem at all with the group you describe, only perhaps some inefficiency. But when you refer to Twitter in terms of addiction, bells go off – or should be going off – and loudly. Addictions are by their very nature anti-social.
To consider an extreme example: if a person finds her/himself Twittering within thirty minutes of lovemaking with his/her significant other, clearly the addiction is damaging intimacy in the person’s most important relationship.
As someone who has done a bit of public speaking, I can assure you that (absent perhaps an unusual venue like SXSW) speakers make a real effort to connect with the members of the audience. An audience’s attention can be felt and seen. When people zone out or Twitter, as a speaker I feel as if I need to change either the topic or presentation style – and fast. Does a Twitter active audience indicate that I’ve lost that connection, or intimacy if you will, with them? Certainly as your blog entry points out, the activity means that those actively working Twitter are not “listening attentively and politely to the speakers”. And certainly those active on Twitter when not “listening attentively” fail to get the most out of the presentation.
Interestingly you use the word “politely” which brings up a related aspect of the issue. In some circumstances being active on Twitter is disrespectful or downright rude. How about church? Even assuming that God is by default a follower on all Twitter accounts, the thought of God’s needing to ask “what are you doing now?” seems rather silly. Surely this not the kind of intimate relationship to the divine that most attend church to achieve.The distraction to others nearby could be distracting, and it would probably be thought of as quite disrepectful. If the addiction carries us that far, would it have us Twittering at weddings and funerals?
It is easy to understand why friends might object to one’s being active on Twitter when together. Presumably those present made some effort to get to the gathering, and they definitely set aside time for it. Having arrived, the expectation is quality time with friends. When someone present constantly hops onto Twitter in the context of a small gathering of friends, the clear if unspoken message is “you don’t matter as much to me as other people do.” Social or anti-social?
The “anti-socialites” were rather visible to some ATX Townies during SXSWi. For instance, there was a meeting of the Austin brewclub at Ginger Man during @laughingsquid’s “Altavista” party. When I got to GM, the brewers were commenting that these “geeks in the back” were merely texting, and not in fact having a party. Of course, @garyvee’s parties were a bit different but, even then, it seemed that “normal” human interactions were rare. Mediated contacts can lead to clique behavior and groupthink.
It’d be nice to have an open conversation of what is really meant by “social” in “social media” and “(online) social networks.”
Too funny, my girlfriend and I pretty much had this exact conversation last night. For me, when I am away from my computer, I will usually only Twitter if I am not actively engaged in something, rather than instead of something (i.e. riding the bus, waiting for something to happen).
Overall, I think most twittering is okay, as long as it doesn’t interfere with meatspace interactions, but if it is during a lull in meatspace, go crazy!
@davidgiesberg
This harkens back to AOL days; nothing’s changed, perhaps. In the early 90s, I was part of a research project where we studied AOL chat rooms and their participants. An interesting finding: online, these people were the most gregarious, talkative folks you could imagine. Face to face, though, the guys at least, were inherently anti-social. Wallflowers you might call them; painfully shy in person.
And, AOL chat room behavior was addictive for many of its participants. Yes, warning bells! And that’s back when there were per minute charges for online use. One participant, a lawyer by day, racked up $1200 charges in one month. The average for one chat room, middle-age group was close to $500/month.
So, is Twitter any different?
(Oh … another interesting, seemingly unrelated factoid from this study – 90% of this particular chat room group were regular smokers.).
OMG – This is hilarious! I had to sneak my phone to the bathroom while having dinner with my mom yesterday so I could Twitter – are we limited to 140 characters here? LOL! @ines here!
I had a tweet with a father and daughter 10 feet from each other one night. They were twiting where they should order pizza from. On top of it, should they call it in or order online… That is family togetherness!
@dankrohn Thank you for the hilarious and on-point response. Clearly there is a time and place to twitter. If there is one thing that attending a funeral, listening to a speech and lovemaking have in common, it may just be that it is inappropriate to twitter during said event. At the end of day, we must all remember to be respectful of others, and sometimes that means resisting the urge to tweet everyone that you are getting a buzz off of the incense at the funeral.
@enkerli There is no doubt that some people just don’t get Twitter or social media in general for that matter. Scobleizer wrote a great post on “what is social media.” I actually had that same conversation with @joshtabin and he gave a great definition: “Social Media is user-generated content.” Twitter certainly fits that bill.
@davidgiesberg You are lucky your girlfriend knows what Twitter is. My girlfriend, friends and family just don’t get it. I showed them “Twitter in Plain English” , and told them not to knock until they rock it. I know a lot of twitterites that didn’t get it until they tried it for a while. Now they are very anti-socially social.
@agorist Thank goodness Twitter is free. You draw a really interesting analogy, and the link between smoking addiction and IM is scary but profound. As @dankrohn writes, “Addictions are by their very nature anti-social.” But then again, smokers tend to congregate together, so maybe smoking is “anti-socially social.”
@Ines I just don’t know what to think about you sneaking off to the bathroom to twitter. It’s a good thing tweeting doesn’t create smoke or smell.
@rockson I bet Evan and the Twitter team would love to know that Twitter is bringing families closer together. I think that is the best thing about social networks in general…they all about bringing people together in an efficient manner. At the end of the day, networks like Facebook, Twitter and Flickr can be very distracting and addictive, but we shouldn’t let that take away from the benefits of connecting, learning and sharing with friends…the Web has facilitated togetherness on a scale never achieved in human history.
@mschmulen Efficient bulk reply!
My concern isn’t with the definitions of “social media,” “social networks,” or “Web 2.0.” Those aren’t difficult concepts to grasp despite the fact that they’re often used as buzzwords with broadly extended meanings. It’s just that, for us social scientists, actual discussions of what “being social” means, in online contexts, would probably lead to useful insight or, at least, some of the insight from social sciences could inform participants in those online phenomena.
But thanks for the links and prompt response!
@enkerli i see where you are going with this. I like to refer to the term “meatspace” as discussed by @davidgiesberg (referring to real life or the physical world vs. the cyberspace). I think the issue for social scientist and the general public is how can we teach ourselves and children to balance being social in the meatspace and the cyberspace. Both have a place in our society, but too much of either can be a bad thing. As @dankrohn says “Addictions are by their very nature anti-social.” This concern should be elevated to a national discussion as it will likely affect younger generations as they grow up married to the Web. After all, we don’t want to live in the Matrix.
I twittered interesting concepts and notes to myself during panels at SXSW. And I get tweets from folks that were doing the same thing at other panels, and other places too. I like to travel light at SXSW and a notebook (old school or computerized) is too much bulk to drag around with you all day into the night.
If I’m twittering at your panel, take it as a compliment.
Though on occassion, I did feel that it could be misunderstood as disinterest, when it was the exact opposite.
Somewhat a tangent, but your posting inspired these additional notes: http://www.adhocalley.com/?p=30
It is beautifully turned out .. I liked ..) would be continuously zahazhivat to you.
Ha ha! Loved the post!